Not Your Average Fantasy Story
by Teh Pocky Ninja
Summary: You all know the story. Princess kisses a frog that turns out to be a handsome prince. Cue hapPy ending. And then along came me, Princess Sakura Haruno, the world's worst princess and my parents' biggest disappointment. SasxSak, OOC, T for safety.


**Not your average fantasy story. **

* * *

My name is Princess Sakura. I am five and a half years old. My Mommy tells me I should do stuff I don't like doing, like playing with dolls and studying. But I don't want to, even though she says I should.

Mommy always scolds me, but I like playing outside. She tells me I need to make more girl friends, because all my friends are boys. I like my friends, we always have fun chasing rabbits and digging holes. They like me too, 'cuz I'm the only one who can catch grasshoppers with my bare hands.

Mommy doesn't like the stuff I do. Today she found me sitting in my favorite-est mud pile, in my favorite-est brown overalls, digging a hole in my mud with a stick I found. She shouted, and my nurses picked me up, holding me far away so their clothes wouldn't get muddy. I kicked and screamed, but they put me in the tub anyways. I like baths, but not when I'm being scrubbed really hard, 'cuz it hurts when they do that.

Afterwards, they put a purple dress on me so Mommy could tell me off. I don't like dresses, they itch too much. I played with one of the ribbons on the edge while Mommy gave me the Grow Up Talk. That's where she sighs a lot, and asks me when I'm going to be a real princess. I say I am a real princess, and then Daddy comes in and tells her It's Just A Phase, She'll Grow Out Of It Soon.

The minute they let me go, I went to my room and sat on my bed, feeling mad at everything. I couldn't take the itchy dress off, because all the ties were in the back. I don't care what Mommy says, I'm not going to be a Proper Lady if I don't want to.

* * *

My name is Princess Sakura. I am nine years old, and I like exploring, archery, and horseback riding. And I don't mean sidesaddle, like Mother and her ladies do. I mean full-on bareback riding with a moody stallion. I have my own horse, his name is Kotzen. I told my parents it was something I had learned in language class so they'd leave me alone. What I didn't tell them was that it meant _Vomit_.

Ever since I was little, my mother's been nagging me about growing up and being a real princess. I've learned to argue back, what if I don't want to be a "real" princess? I'm not first in line for Father's throne anyways, so why should I?

Then she'll sigh and say because if I don't behave like a princess, no princes will want to marry me. I always stick my tongue out at that part. I really can't imagine marrying any of my friends, of which there still are no girls. They're fun to splash through rivers and shoot arrows with, but I wouldn't want to be stuck with any of them for _life_.

Mother makes it hard to play with my friends nowadays. She takes away all my play clothes and gives me frilly dresses in bright colors. She has my nurses put glittery makeup on me and big lacy bows in my hair. Then they'll all go "Aww," and say what a pretty little girl, if only I'd stop scowling I'd be the perfect princess.

The minute they're gone, I get rid of the bows and wash off the glitter. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror, and I see me stuck behind all the silk and jewelry. I know I don't want to be like a lady, and I promise myself I won't give in.

* * *

My name is Princess Sakura. I am twelve years and three months old. Mother has just finished screaming at me for cutting my hair.

I don't see what the big deal is. Ever since I was little it's been long and wavy, which I absolutely couldn't _stand_. Sure, some of the guys I hang out with have longer hair than me, but they were allowed to tie it back. I wasn't, so I cut it to just above chin-length. I think I did quite a good job, it looks somewhat even around the edges.

So I sit in my chair, in my ruffle-laden green dress, and stare at my fingernails as Mother gives me the years-old Grow Up Talk. Apparently, if I keep doing things like this to myself, no princes will ever marry me and I'll be all alone and die lonely. I say I could care less, I'm not interested in boys right now, and if they wanna marry me they'd better respect who I am and not just Father's giant dowry I know he's offered.

Then she glares at me, because she knows I know about the proposition. Apparently they're really desperate to have someone engaged to me by the time I turn sixteen. Mother sighs, closing her eyes as she leaves the room, telling my nurses to lock the door from the outside as they follow her out. I hear the lock click, and I know I'm stuck here.

I sit down on my four-poster bed, hugging my knees as I stick my tongue out at my door and everyone behind it. I never asked to be your "perfect princess," anyways.

* * *

My name is Princess Sakura. I am fifteen years old, and my parents are really working to get rid of me the day after I turn sixteen. Fortunately, they haven't found anyone who wants me as a bride. I know, because while fishing with the guys I've been friends with since we were kids, one of them mentioned his father had asked him if he wanted to marry me. They all stared in surprise and said their fathers had asked them the same thing. They all looked at me, knowing my thoughts on marriage, and promised never to force me to marry any of them. We had a good group hug then, and I wondered what I would do without those guys.

Mother's really stretching to make me "presentable." I haven't seen a pair of scissors since the day I cut my hair, meaning it's back to being long and wavy. It's even longer than before I cut it, and I'm pretty sure Mother bribed a nearby charmer to put a spell on my shampoo to make it grow. Now I'm upset with it, because you really can't do much with hair reaching to your bottom. Which is _exactly_ what Mother wants.

But, I have managed to get rid of a few "tutors" she's hired. The seamstress lady thought she had a breakthrough when I actually settled down with a needle to work on something. She was fired when I gave the high-quality saddle I made to a friend for his birthday.

The harp lady quit when I chose to play bawdy drinking songs on a lute. The painter lady gave up when I gave her a wonderful depiction of me and my friends catching crawfish in a river, dirty as can be but still having the time of our lives. The singing lady was fired after I broke a window singing aforementioned drinking songs. The dancing lady…well, let's jut say the physician was busy that day. How was I supposed to know she was so clumsy around breakable objects?

In a desperate attempt to get me to do some "real princess" stuff, they put me in one of the castle gardens and told me to stay there and play with a ball. I was thrilled, until they uncovered the ball. The sunlight overhead glittered off its polished surface.

Pure gold.

So I stood there, holding the heavy globe while they left, making sure to lock the doors so I couldn't get back in. I sighed, tossing my ridiculously long hair and decided to make to best of it.

Gold balls _suck_. I laughed for a moment at my choice of words before trying to figure out what to do with the stupid thing. It was too heavy to throw, it wouldn't bounce, it wouldn't roll properly, and I couldn't try kicking it unless I wanted a sore toe (in those disgusting satin slippers Mother makes me wear.)

So I sat on a stone bench next to a large, decorative fountain, because Father had threatened to take away Kotzen if I ruined another dress with grass stains or mud, or even misbehaved in a "manner not befitting a proper princess." I rolled the ball around in my lap before sitting it on the bench next to met, bored out of my skull. There was absolutely nothing to do in a garden except dig holes, from which I was forbidden. I glanced in my boredom at the row of petunias circling the fountain. I had helped plant most of those, until Mother dragged me back inside and lectured the gardeners about letting me get dirty.

I sighed, my chin in my hand as I sat bent over, my elbows on my knees. The posture lady Mother had fired last week would have been horrified. I closed my eyes, wondering why they were so determined to get me to "behave," until-

_Sploosh_.

My eyes snapped open, glancing to the bench next to me. No golden ball. I stood up, rushing to the side of the fountain and peering in, my hands gripping the dry outside stones.

There, just visible when the sun flashed, sat the stupid golden globe at the very bottom of the rather deep swim. I cursed out loud, because there was no way I could get it without ruining the silk of the sky-blue dress I had on. Now Father would take away Kotzen for sure!

I like to think of myself as tough, so I haven't really cried since I was a little girl. But at the thought of losing my lovable, loyal pony, I sobbed outright. I'd had him since I was nine! He was a good boy, and could run just as fast as the guys' horses! And now he was going to be sold far away!

"Hey, girl! Watch where you're spilling those tears!"

My head jerked up. "Huh?"

"Down here."

My gaze followed the male voice. I raised one eyebrow.

"Oh, gee. A magical talking frog. How original."

"Hey girl," retorted the small brown amphibian perched on another stone of the fountain, "I don't choose what people turn me into. If I did, I would've picked a snake."

"A…snake?" I asked.

"Yup," his little brown head bobbed in a nod. "They don't need water to stay alive. Otherwise I would've been outta here the moment I got stuck. And snakes can fit in little places. And don't cry on me, your tears are salty."

"Stuck in Father's garden?' I asked.

"You're…the princess?" His little head cocked to the side.

"Don't," I mumbled, "Don't call me that."

"Why not?"

"Because I hate being a princess," I admitted, crossing my arms.

"How can you hate being royalty?"

"Because everybody wants me to be a 'proper lady!' And all I wanna do is go hunting and fishing with my friends…they're all guys," I quickly added. "And they're the best friends I could ask for…but now I won't be able to do that anymore…"

"Why not?" asked the frog, hopping closer to me.

"Because I dropped my father's stupid ball down there," I pointed, "On accident. And now he's going to take away Kotzen!"

If the little animal had eyebrows, I'm sure one of them would've risen. "He's taking away your puke?"

Not bothering to giggle that someone had gotten it, I nodded sadly. "My horse. I named him Kotzen when I was nine. I love him, and now he's gonna be sold…"

"All those other girls cried because of what they dropped," said the little frog when more tears spilled out of my eyes. "You're the first to cry because it means losing something more important…I could try getting your ball for you."

"You?" I said, genuinely surprised at his offer. "You're so tiny! That thing's huge for a little guy like you! No offence."

"None taken. But you know how things are always lighter underwater?"

"Oh," I said, my eyes lighting up. "I get it! Could you really?"

"I could…"

"Lemme guess," I said, rolling my eyes. "You want a kiss in return."

I almost laughed when he stared at his webbed fingers. "Sort of."

"Ok."

"…Ok?" that's it? You're not going to think about it? Kissing me, a possibly diseased vermin that could give you warts?"

I smirked, rolling my eyes again. "Frogs don't give people warts. And my mouth has touched much dirtier things than a frog. I'm not really bothered."

"Princess," said the amphibian, "You are one of a kind."

With a single hop and a splash, he was gone. I couldn't resist clapping my hands together, Kotzen was as good as saved!

The moment the golden sphere came within grabbing distance, I snatched it right out of the water and dropped it on the grass, reaching back in to gently lift the frog to the surface as well.

"Geez," he panted as I deposited him on the rim of the fountain, "That thing's heavy!"

"Thank you!" I squealed, my finger stroking down his slick-feeling back. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

"Yeah…sure…give me a minute… he panted between breaths, "Just a minute…"

I blushed, this little animal was much more fun to talk to than anybody other than my friends.

"So…how'd you get stuck as a frog?" I asked when he caught his breath, genuinely interested in his answer.

"Some hag wanted me to marry her daughter," was his answer. "I said no, and poof! Here I am, eating flies and hiding from pigeons."

"I know how that feels…" I murmured, "Father's been trying to get me engaged for years. I'm lucky nobody's accepted yet."

"Why wouldn't they? You're better off than any of those other girls. Why not?"

I blushed again, "Because I'm not a proper lady. I don't sew or sing or dance like the others do."

"I don't understand it," he said. "I'd marry you. You're the only girl who's bothered to talk to me in a year."

I gasped, "A YEAR?!"

He nodded sadly as I scooped him up in my hands.

"Omigosh, why didn't you say so?!" I demanded, "I'll turn you right back, I'm sorry!"

"You're also the first to care about how I feel," he said as I brought him up to my face. "Oh, you might wanna put me down right after."

"Mm-kay," I said, closing my eyes and giving the tiny brown animal a big smooch, right on his little froggy mouth before dropping him carefully down on the grass.

_POOF!_

I coughed, waving my hand to get rid of the smoke cloud that had appeared out of nowhere. I heard someone else coughing, my eyes going wide as the smog cleared.

In front of me, where the little creature had been sitting, was a young man, looking to be about my age, squatting like a frog on the clipped grass. And he was completely naked.

I gasped, my face turning bright red before I looked away out of embarrassment.

"Princess," said his voice, much deeper now that he was a person again.

I met his gaze, my eyes fixed on his face as he sat down, his hands covering himself as his pale cheeks turned the tiniest shade of pink. I stared outright at that face, he was the cutest boy I'd ever seen before. No, cute wasn't good enough for him. He was outright _striking_. I thought the Handsome Frog Prince was just a story, but this beautiful guy sitting in front of me proved otherwise.

"Thank you," he breathed, closing his midnight-black eyes. His coal-colored bangs fell in his face as he bowed his head to me. "Thank you, Princess…"

"M-my name is S-Sakura," I stuttered, still barely believing that this stunning young man was thanking me for turning him into a human again.

"Sakura," he said softly, "I don't know how to thank you enough…"

"Oh, w-well…" I stammered, "I-"

There was the clicking sound of multiple crossbows preparing to fire, and I glanced up, my eyes widening at the castle guards surrounding us from above.

"Step away from my daughter!" shouted a familiar voice. "You warlock, or whatever you are!"

"Daddy!" I protested, standing up to both cover my unclothed buddy behind my skirts and to glare at my father. "He's not a wizard, he's just a poor guy who got turned into a frog!"

My father rolled his eyes, "Sweetheart, I've heard that one before. Now, you!" He pointed to my once-amphibious companion, "Get away from her or I'll have you shot!"

"My apologies," he murmured, closing his eyes, "Your majesty. I didn't mean to cause any trouble. Your daughter is a very charming girl, Sir."

"Who are you?" demanded my father, narrowing his eyes at him.

His sooty eyes opened halfway to look at me instead of my enraged father.

"Sasuke Uchiha, Prince of the Land of Fire."

* * *

My name is Princess Sakura, and I am sixteen and two days old. Father was a bit shocked to learn my friend was second in line for the throne of the Land of Fire, only THE most powerful country on our continent in terms of military strength. But of course, after being introduced he immediately apologized for his rash behavior.

You could say everyone in the court sucked up to my froggy pal, the girls because of his looks and the men because they wanted political alliances. Father was thrilled to learn he was sixteen as well, and sent a messenger on horseback off to the Land of Fire to tell them we had found their prince. Their reply was formal, but grateful we had "rescued" him. After all, he HAD been missing for a whole year.

Sasuke and I had a good laugh about it, sitting together in that very garden I had met him in. I got the jealous glares for hanging out with such a cutie, but I could care less (and he _did_ look rather dashing in the scarlet clothes made for him at my parents' command). Then he dropped the bombshell.

"Father wishes for me to return soon," he told me, looking away.

"Do you…really have to go?" I asked, gazing up at him.

"I'll stay as long as I can, but…they haven't seen me in a year. They'll want an explanation."

"You're lucky…" I murmured, "My parents wouldn't care at all."

"Sakura, you know that's not true."

"Sure seems like it," I mumbled, kicking at a stray pebble.

My eyes widened in surprise when I found myself squeezed against his chest, his arms holding me in a tight hug.

"They do care…" he whispered into my hair, "And so do I."

"But you're not like them," I said, closing my eyes. "They want me to be someone different. You like me just fine."

"And I hope you never change," he said quietly, releasing me as his hands held my gloved ones. "You're perfect as you are."

I blushed again, a habit I seemed to have picked up since meeting him.

"And really, you shouldn't hate your dresses so much. You look beautiful in them."

My face went bright red then, my downcast eyes glancing at the pearly-white gown I had on at the time. He grinned, fully aware of my internal conflicts.

"Just as beautiful as if you were covered in mud and wearing boy's trousers," he added, lifting up my hand and kissing the back of my snowy glove.

"S-Sasuke…" I stuttered, suddenly unable to look into those charcoal-colored eyes.

"Sakura, you cared for me when I was a helpless little animal," he murmured, drawing me close again. "I never did thank you properly."

I never liked those magical princess stories read to me when I was a little girl. The given Damsel In Distress always seemed way too vulnerable and eager to give herself to anyone who came to rescue her. The Prince Charmings were no better, always unrealistically noble and attractive enough to sweep the maidens off their feet.

But as my eyes close and I feel his lips on mine, I wonder if maybe there was some truth to those stories after all.

* * *

My name is Princess Sakura. I am nineteen years old, and not the happiest princess you'll find in this castle.

My charming Sasuke has been back at home for almost three years now. The moment he arrived there, he sent me a letter detailing exactly how much celebrating had been planned for his arrival, from trained animals to banquets lasting for days.

His written tone suddenly became dark when he described how many princesses had attempted to sweet-talk him during the festivities. He knew he was of age, but he declared loudly on paper that he would've preferred me. I nearly choked on my tears, kissing his letter as if it would let him feel my lips so far away.

I wrote back straight away, promising to wait until he was asked which maiden he preferred to be his wife. I poured my heart out to him, including a few jokes here and there to lighten the mood. My letter was bundled along with the departing mail the moment I finished it.

This is my life now. Between each arrival of his replies, I sit quietly in my room, not even bothering to protest when Mother dresses me in those awful, girly gowns. It worries some of my nurses, but the rest of them explain it as, "The wee lass's 'eart's been awae withae princely lad."

It's true, I long for my Sasuke. I long for his touch, his eyes, his strong hands holding me and his lips whispering my name…I long for the one who whisked my heart away with him when he rode off, his head hung low as he stole a last glance at our castle.

My only fear is that Father will find a husband for me before he can rescue his princess.

* * *

My name is Princess Sakura Uchiha. I am twenty-one years old, and I have just been married to the love of my life, Prince Sasuke. He ended up specifically asking for me when the time came for him to pick a wife. Words can't describe how much I cried overjoyed tears to hear his choice, even after we had only communicated by letters for years after he left.

Father allowed me to go live with him for a few months, "to learn their ways," as he put it. Though I was never a Proper Lady to my parents, I could tell they were proud of me.

The moment I saw my beloved waiting for me outside his giant palace, I nearly fell off my Kotzen before throwing myself into his arms and crying blissful tears as he hugged me, kissing me all over as my escorting guards tried not to stare.

I met my future family-in-law, his parents the King and Queen, along with his brother, the soon-to-be King. Imagine my surprise and delight when Sasuke told me women here had to learn to fight to defend their homes, a common thing in a country devoted to conquests and warfare.

It turned out a royal couple marrying in the Land of Fire had a kind of fake duel before they were wed. I was elated, and Sasuke spent hours with me each day, both to sharpen what few sword motions I had picked up at home and to spend time alone with me. I sometimes wonder if we spent more time kissing and catching up than fencing.

The day of the wedding, I was guiltily pleased that the bride's dress was a simple short-skirted dress with loose sleeves and short pants underneath the skirt. The attendants explained it was so the bride could move around easily during her duel. My still-long hair was braided with a white ribbon (I had decided to keep it that way because Sasuke liked it), and I was given long white boots that were unusually sturdy for their pristine appearance.

So many people were there when I proceeded to join my fiancé in the traditional part of the wedding. People were cheering and waving banners and throwing confetti everywhere. Mother and Father had simply sent a letter of congratulations, but I was amazed to see all my childhood friends waving to me from the crowd! I smiled and waved back, promising not to completely embarrass them, wondering how they had gotten here without my knowing. Probably a wedding surprise from Sasuke.

As I entered the duel circle, I was handed my sword, a thin rapier with a glinting silver blade. From my sessions with the man standing before me, I could tell it was far too light to be a battle weapon, simply ornamental and symbolic.

"Sakura," he said to me as we approached each other, weapons gripped in our hands. "You look lovely."

I grinned, "You're not bad yourself, dearest."

Truth be told, a few months wasn't nearly enough time for me to have learned enough to overcome a master of the blade like him. I was just proud that I lasted more than a few minutes, and I'm sure he held back a few times so I wouldn't look completely pathetic. He easily knocked my sword out of my hand, flicking his blade up to eye level as my weapon clattered onto the floor.

What I wasn't prepared for was the massive round of applause I received as he gave his weapon to an attendant, turning to smirk gorgeously at me as he bowed his head.

"But…I lost," I whispered as he hugged me, prompting more cheers.

"It doesn't matter who wins," he explained, "It's all to show off how much I taught you. Though, in my brother's case," he whispered, sneaking a glance at his sibling, "It was a display of how much _she_ taught _him_."

I giggled before he took my hand, leading me to the royally appointed priest as he opened his dusty old book.

"May those watching over us bless this day," he announced as the crowd quieted, "For here we are on this joyous time in these two young people's lives, who have chosen to be forever bound in the bonds of love and matrimony…"

We stood there, barely hearing the words being spoken as we communicated with our eyes. His ink-colored orbs radiated love, my jade-green responded with contentment at being accepted here, as his wife. He smiled, something he didn't do very often, his fair cheeks tinted red as he was asked if he would take me for his wife through everything life could throw at us.

"I do," he replied clearly, his hands squeezing mine.

I gulped as I was asked the same question. I knew everyone's eyes, along with his, were watching me. I swallowed, and managed a teary-eyed smile.

"Yes I do."

We were pronounced husband and wife, as he swept me up in his arms and kissed me enough to leave me breathless as cheers and confetti swirled around us. A resident greenwitch could be heard calling out spells of good fortune with elaborate hand gestures, motivated by the sack of gold I saw she received later.

The festivities seemed to go on forever, giving me a lot of time to introduce my best friends and their wives to my new husband. They made me giggle with their "inspection," which he passed easily. Sasuke thanked each one of them personally for not marrying me when they had the chance. The ones that had wives or girlfriends back home shrugged, and said I never really had what their darlings had. I almost died laughing when my new spouse challenged them to a satirical "duel" over the "insult." They were all pronounced "dead" in seconds.

A big part of the ending ceremonies was dancing. I'm not ashamed to admit I've never danced with a guy before in my life. But, amazingly, I stepped on no feet and tripped over no ankles while dancing in my Sasuke's arms, sickly-sweet romantic music oozing through the scents of alcohol and sugary food.

So, the story of my life cut short, I never did become a Proper Lady. I still go hunting, fishing, and practicing archery, though now I do it in the company of my sweetheart. I've gotten a little better with a sword, if lasting four minutes instead of three is an improvement. And I haven't worn a frilly dress since I left my parents' castle far, far behind. After all, if I had behaved their way, I never would've kissed my frog and discovered true love.

Sappy as it is, I'm proud of my happy ending. Let's hope our kids aren't allergic to mud.

**The end!**

* * *

X.X


End file.
